Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Randomize
