So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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