he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
honey bunches of taint.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
