i just google imaged poop.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Randomize
