I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
