Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
