kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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