she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
