he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
