i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
