We're facebook friends in real life
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize