they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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