I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Randomize
