You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
