i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
