I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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