4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I FOUND THE LEGS
Randomize
