I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We just shotgunned beers for America
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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