exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize