how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
This toilet bowl is my home.
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