who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
