I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
