Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
