for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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