it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize