summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
