In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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