: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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