R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize