I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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