i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I got her a Nickelback box set.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize