hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
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