I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
