Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
