You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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