Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
