dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
