Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
We're too hungover to prance.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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