Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
