So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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