Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize