I'm lost and stupid without you.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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