You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
