Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I don't deserve a penis
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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