I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
