i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
