Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
