Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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