The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
