dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
