The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
this hospital has no fireball
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
