All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
