Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i think i have two assholes
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
