so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Randomize
