Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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