What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
