we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
