Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize