We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
