I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
